Anything Goes
by Bronwyn Hollingsworth
Summary: A collection of mainly Janto centric short stories but we'll see the others too. Some stories will be romantic, some will be funny and some will be plain weird. First in line, our boys confess their feelings with songs. R
1. That Much

_I will post new stories as I think of them. Some will be stand-alone, some will be connected and some will be just plain random and weird. Oh and some might be tasters of possible chapter fics._

_In this story, the team goes to a karaoke night and Ianto uses the opportunity to confess his feelings for Jack. And Jack answers._

* * *

"That Much"

Owen grumbled but then what else was new? "How the hell did we end up at karaoke night at a gay bar?"

"Oh, Owen, relax," Gwen swatted him, "no one's forcing you to stay."

Jack chuckled, "That's right and if you're going to be a Debby-downer we don't want you anyway."

"Tea-boy," Owen glared at Ianto, "you're the one Jack told to organise this "Torchwood Fun Night"."

Ianto sighed and said in such a way that Jack didn't know if he was kidding, "I wasn't aware this was a gay bar, Owen."

"A name like the Queen's Handbag didn't give it away?"

"It sounded like a classic pub name to me, like The Bucket of Blood in Cornwall or My Father's Moustache in Lincolnshire. Then there's the Hung Drawn and Quartered which was a favourite of mine when I was living in London."

"Ianto's right," Tosh said, "the Queen's Handbag doesn't automatically scream gay."

"Exactly," Jack agreed, "and Ianto, by the way, Hung Drawn and Quartered, a favourite of mine as well."

Somebody who worked at the bar said it was time for karaoke and anyone who wanted to could come on up. Jack was considering taking a turn, but after a few because if he sung now than nobody would want to follow.

"This is stupid," Owen mumbled, now on his second beer.

"Then why are you still here?" Tosh snapped at him, "I'm enjoying myself. This is fun."

After the fourth bad singer Jack was about to stand up when Ianto beat him to it, "Think I'll give it a go" the Welshman said, not looking at anyone.

Jack grinned, "I'm next!"

Ianto stepped up to the stage and whispered whatever song he chose to the person in charge and then stood in front of the mike. His eyes flicked about the room till they landed on Jack, "Um, you'll have to forgive me, I'm a little nervous. The song I'm going to sing is, um, well it's dedicated to someone very dear to me and, well, he'll figure it out."

Jack's grin broadened, Ianto was singing for him, he felt so special.

Ianto swallowed, "I know I could have just told you but well…" he signalled to the DJ and the music started.

"_Sometimes at night I lay awake,__  
Just to watch you sleep, hear each breath you take.__  
When the morning lights your face,__  
I just wanna hold you, and forget the day.__  
I live and breathe your every touch__  
Do you love me, do you love me, do you love me that much?"_

Everyone else in the world ceased to exist and it was just him and Ianto. Ianto and his beautiful voice was singing his love for him. Jack's eyes stung and he thought 'Of course I do."

_"When you look at me across the crowded room,__  
Suddenly I wanna be alone with you.__  
I hang on every word that leaves your lips,__  
Anticipate the moment when I feel your kiss.__  
Enough of you is not enough.__  
Do you love me, do you love me, do you love me that much?"_

Jack's heart swelled with love but he wondered why Ianto even needed to ask. Maybe Jack didn't show it enough, well by God, after tonight he was going to start.

_"For so long, I've been trying to believe,__  
That someday, you'll fall as deep as me.__  
But it's just not there, love isn't always fair."_

"What?" Jack whispered through his tears "I am as deep as you. Oh God, I don't show it enough."

_"Would you want the best for me,__  
And I hope I find the kind of love you can't feel for me.__  
Could you find it in your heart,__  
To end this thing right now before it's gone too far__  
Let me go and give me up__  
Do you love me, do you love me, do you love me that much?__  
Do you love me that much?"_

As the room burst into applause, Jack shot to his feet, two can play at this game. He hopped up on stage and told Ianto "Stay right next to me." Then Jack whispered to the DJ "Cole Porter's Do I Love You?"

The DJ smiled and nodded.

Jack stepped in front of the mike "Two can play at this game," he said and picked up the mike and faced Ianto. And he was going to sing it his own way.

"_Do I love you, do I?_

_Doesn't one and one make two?_

_Do I love you, do I?_

_Doesn't July need a sky of blue?"_

As he sang he looked into Ianto's tear filled yet smiling eyes.

"_Would I miss you, would I?  
If you ever should go away?  
If the sun should desert the day,  
What would life be?_

_Will I leave you, never?  
Could the ocean leave the shore?  
Will I worship you forever?  
Isn't heaven forever more?_

_Do I love you, do I?  
Oh, my dear, it's so easy to see,  
Don't you know I do?  
Don't I show you I do?  
Just as you love me._

_After that sweet summer afternoon  
When for the first time I saw you appear  
Dreaming of you, I composed a tune,  
So will you listen to it, dear?"_

_Will I leave you, never?  
Could the ocean leave the shore?  
Will I worship you forever?  
Isn't heaven forever more? _

_Do I love you, do I?  
Oh, my dear, it's so easy to see,  
Don't you know I do?  
Don't I show you I do,  
Just as you love me._

_Don't you know I do?  
Don't I show you I do,  
Just as you love me."_

There might have been clapping and cheering but Jack didn't care, he only had eyes for Ianto.

Ianto swallowed, "Really?"

"Really," Jack dropped the mike and took Ianto's hands. "I love you, Ianto and I'm gonna start letting you know more often."

"I love you, Jack," and he closed the distance between them.

Jack deepened the kiss and after a moment he murmured, "You knew damn well it was karaoke night didn't you?"

Ianto smiled softly, "Might've."

Jack chuckled, "You could have just told me."

"I was afraid."

Jack wiped away the tears on Ianto's cheeks, "You don't have to be anymore," he kissed him again.

Ianto breathed into the kiss, "Can we go home now?"

"Read my mind."

End.

* * *

_Songs sung by Peter Cetera and John Barrowman._

_Hope you enjoyed. Please review._


	2. Superhero List

_This is one of those random silly ones._

* * *

"Superhero List"

There were no rift predictions for today and for once, Ianto wasn't the only one caught up on his paperwork. So what better time for Jack to ask the team something he'd been wondering for a while.

"Team," he called, "conference room!"

Once everyone was seated around the oval table, with coffee of course, Jack said "So, since there's nothing going on today, I thought we'd have a conversation."

"Why not just send us home?" Owen suggested.

Jack sighed, "Maybe later. Here's my question, which American superheroes, male and female, any universe would you shag? You don't have to give your reasons because the rest of us can just internally speculate."

After a few moments of silence Owen said, "Ianto, what have you been putting in his coffee?"

"Coffee, I have no control over what he does with it after."

Jack rolled his eyes, "Come on, gang, it's a fun game. Ladies first."

"All right," Gwen muttered, "might as well get this over with. I'll go first." She was silent a moment as she thought, "Well, Superman of course…"

"Well, yeah," Jack nodded in agreement. "He's hot."

Gwen ignored him and continued, "Thor and I can't really think of anyone else. Superman and Thor are my favorites."

"What about women?" Jack asked.

"Oh, um, Wonder Woman, definitely."

"Okay, Tosh," Jack said "you next."

Tosh blushed prettily, "Well, Batman…"

"Big surprise," Owen mumbled.

Jack glared at him and Tosh continued, "Mr. Fantastic…"

"Oooh," Jack gave a low whistle, "nice one, Tosh."

"And," she took her gaze from the table and looked around at everyone, "I think Beast might be fun to play with. As for women, I quite like Invisible Woman, Jean Grey and Storm is one of my favorites."

Ianto's eyes glazed over at that and his adorable tongue poked out ever so slightly. Yeah, after this, Jack was sending the other three home.

"Nice choices Tosh," Jack said. "Owen, you're up."

"I agree with Tosh on Invisible Woman, Super Woman, Catwoman and I know she's technically a villain."

"And men?" Jack asked him.

Owen sighed, "Human Torch and yeah, I'm with Tosh on Beast. What?" he said to the looks, "I think he'd be cuddly."

Jack chuckled at the sudden image in his head. "Okay, my turn. Superman, Batman, I can so handle Wolverine and I would love to relax Cyclops. Oh and I like the Green Lantern too. As for the ladies, I can handle Rogue and Storm's electrifying. And Wonder Woman, Super Woman and Batgirl."

Ianto took a breath, "My turn is it? Well, it seems that Jack, Tosh and I are having a foursome with Storm."

Jack laughed and slapped the table, "Sounds good to me. Who else, Ianto?"

"Shadowcat and Electra."

"And what about men?"

Ianto gave him a seductive smirk "You mean besides you? You're a superhero, Jack."

"Aren't you sweet?" Jack touched his foot with his.

Ianto licked his lips, "Batman, the Flash and Gambit is my top preference."

"Ooh" Jack moved his foot up Ianto's leg, "Ianto likes himself a bad boy."

Ianto stared at him, eyes burning with lust.

"Okay," Jack said, "you all can head home."

Nobody needed telling twice and the other three left the conference room.

Jack stood and moved over to Ianto and put his arms around him, "How ya doing?"

Ianto leaned back into his embrace, "I can't stop thinking about Tosh and Storm."

Jack looked down at Ianto's lap, "I can see that. Would you like me to take your mind off it?" he bent and nibbled Ianto's ear.

Ianto moaned, "Oh God yes."

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed this little bit of silliness. If you can think of any other superheroes the TW might like to play with, please let me know._


	3. Before He Cheats

_This is one of those weird ones. A bit unlikely, I know Ianto probably really wouldn't do what I have him do in this._

_Song by Carrie Underwood_

* * *

"Before He Cheats"

Ianto was a dream lover, he did what he was told and never complained about Jack's flirting (or possible dalliances), he was happy with just some of Jack. At least that's what he told himself. But a dream lover could only take so much.

He had been stuck at home for the past couple of days with a cold and he was extremely bored and felt slightly goofy—he really shouldn't have bought that Animaniacs DVD. But that wasn't the point…He couldn't stand it anymore so he went to the Hub around midnight, planning on pleasantly surprising Jack. So, he decided to enter via the invisible lift.

However as he walked across the Plass he saw two people making out against a lamp post. Honestly, get a room people. Hold on…that was Jack and…son of a bitch, Gwen. Ianto knew it, he just knew that flighty bastard would rather be with her, seems he finally decided to go for it. He stalked back to his car without being seen. God dammit. It was one thing if Jack had told Ianto beforehand, maybe Ianto wouldn't be so damn furious but to go behind his back…while he was out with a cold? That just wasn't right.

Ianto started his car and turned on the radio, he needed music to calm his nerves. He went through the stations, trying to find something relaxing when he came across this:

_That I dug my key into the side  
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats._

A light bulb went off in Ianto's head. He wasn't normally one to be bitchy but…dammit, he'd been so good to Jack since they started up, his feelings deserved some consideration didn't they? He thought of Jack's precious SUV…oh, Ianto would pay for the damages…eventually, but he wanted to teach that bastard a lesson.

Now, where the hell did he get a Louisville Slugger? He wanted to be true to the song after all, it was the OCD in him.

As luck would have it, his American neighbor just happened to have one. When he explained the situation to her, she gladly let him borrow it. He then hacked into the CCTV of the Hub to make sure Jack was in it, he wasn't to be seen but the SUV was in its usual parking space. THAT woman had apparently gone home.

Ianto made his way to the carpark and the SUV. To set the mood, he listened to the whole song as he worked.

_Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky...  
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink  
'cause she can't shoot whiskey...  
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick,  
showing her how to shoot a combo..._

Well, that part might not have been accurate but Ianto didn't really care at this point. He was having too much fun.

And he don't know...

That I dug my key into the side  
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Oh, yeah, as much as Ianto loved the SUV, this was highly therapeutic. Besides, he'd pay for it. He wasn't that much of a bitch after all.

_Right now, she's probably up singing some  
white-trash version of Shania karaoke.  
Right now, she's probably saying, "I'm drunk"  
and he's a-thinking that he's gonna get lucky,  
Right now, he's probably dabbing on  
3 dollars worth of that bathroom Polo*...  
_

Okay, Jack didn't need to do that part, he smelled damn good naturally.

_Oh, and he don't know..._

That I dug my key into the side  
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats,  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

I might've saved a little trouble for the next girl,  
'cause the next time that he cheats...  
Oh, you know it won't be on me!

No... not on me

'Cause I dug my key into the side  
of his pretty little souped up 4 wheel drive,  
carved my name into his leather seats...  
I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights,  
slashed a hole in all 4 tires...  
Maybe next time he'll think before he cheats.

Oh, maybe next time he'll think before he cheats...

Oh, before he cheats... oh, oh.

Once Ianto was satisfied with his vandalizing it was time for him to go into work. Thank goodness no one had walked up on him committing a crime. He didn't see Jack when he entered the Hub so he went into his office and looked down the hatch. Jack was asleep. Okay, so he probably wasn't at the bar playing pool with a bleach blonde tramp.

Jack's mobile was his desk, grinning like a cat, Ianto picked it up and changed the ring tone to the song. That'll show him.

Just as Ianto set the phone back where he found it Jack climbed up his ladder. "Hey Ianto," he grinned, "feeling better?"

Ianto smiled at him "Oh yes, thank you. Have I missed much?"

"Oh god" Jack kissed him deeply "get Gwen taste out of my mouth."

Ianto pushed him back "What was that?"

"I'm sorry babe. Rift alert last night brought through an alien drug. Gwen dropped the bag and it got all over us. Made us both a little…well, but thank God I came to my senses before anything happened. Are you okay? Your eyes are very wide."

Ianto believed Jack, why would he make it up? If he wanted to hide it, he wouldn't say anything. Ianto swallowed, "Uh, today's pay day isn't it?"

"Yeah, you want your check?"

"No" he shook his head "I want you to keep it."

"Why?"

Ianto handed him his keys "And drive my car today."

"Why?" Jack asked warily.

Ianto took a breath, "I'm so sorry, cariad. I saw you and Gwen kiss last night and I jumped to the wrong conclusion."

Jack blinked several times, "Did you do something to the SUV?"

"Um…"

Jack's mobile chose at that moment to ring.

_Right now he's probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,  
and she's probably getting frisky...  
right now, he's probably buying her some fruity little drink  
'cause she can't shoot whiskey...  
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool stick,  
showing her how to shoot a combo..._

"Ianto" Jack said, voice laced with obvious forced calm "why is my ringtone suddenly Carrie Underwood's Before He Cheats? What did you do to my car?"

Ianto smiled nervously, "I promise I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I am so, so sorry." He waved, said a line from Animaniacs "Okay, I love you, bye-bye" and he ran.

Jack ran after him "Ianto, come back here!"

End.

* * *

_Uh-oh, what's Jack gonna do to him? Oh, I'm sure Ianto will be fine. He'll fix the SUV and all will be well. I read a WolfStar fic once where Remus did the same thing to Sirius' motorcycle so I think that's where this comes from._

_Okay, I love you, bye-bye._


	4. Ddraig Goch

_This one's kind of weird and ridiculous and it's fantasy. It's possible this could one day turn into a separate chapter fic but I don't know. We'll have to see._

* * *

"Ddraig Goch"

Ianto only requested one day off a month, he was rather insistent so I let him. He did so much around the Hub, he deserved it. The thing that got me thinking was that he took these days off even when he was hiding the cyberwoman in the basement. After his suspension he still only requested that one day a month. What was so important that he needed a whole twenty-four hours and why didn't he get exhausted from all the work he did? One day just wasn't enough in my opinion.

His day off came up after the incident with the fairy things and I was in a mood so I decided to follow him. I used my '67 Chevy because even Ianto shouldn't know I own it. Mind, he might get suspicious if he noticed a classic American car following him. I hoped he wouldn't notice. Then I remembered I didn't have to tailgate him, I could track his car with my PDA.

I followed him out of the city and into the mountains. Why was he going to the countryside? At night? This wasn't making any sense. I arrived at the place he left his car maybe four minutes after he did. Now I had to figure out which way he went. Fortunately he still had his mobile on him so I was able to track that on my PDA. I left my coat in the car so it wouldn't catch on anything and make noise. I didn't want him to know I was following him, not yet anyway.

I hate hiking, I decided after an hour of trudging through the wilderness. This was getting aggravating and I still hadn't caught up with him. How was he doing this in that suit and those damn loafers he was wearing? I was wearing work boots and my feet were starting to hurt.

"Of all the…" I muttered when I lost his signal "Damn forest." I quickened my pace, hoping to catch up with him. But I didn't see him anywhere. He couldn't have gotten far could he?

I finally came across a cave in a rocky outcropping. Oh, he so better be in there. Why the hell was he hiking in a suit? What was wrong with that man?

Just as I was about to move towards the cave, a rumbling from within made me duck behind a tree. Something was emerging from it.

My mouth dropped open and my knees went weak at what I saw. The creature was huge, so huge it wouldn't fit through the cog door at the Hub. It had wings and a tail and was covered in red scales, darker on the back and lighter on the belly. Was I actually seeing a dragon? What? How? Never in all my travels had I ever seen a dragon. Stories of dragons, at least ones that resemble the Welsh flag are unique to Earth.

The dragon unfurled his wings and stretched before taking off into the night sky. I took a moment to gather my wits and rushed into the cave "Ianto!" I called. I really hoped he hadn't been eaten and I wondered if this was where he came every month. If so, why?

The front of the cave was empty but there was a tunnel at the back. I followed it till I got to what was obviously the dragon's lair.

"Oh my god," I breathed. This dragon had it made. There were piles of gold, jewels and even some cash. And was that container labelled "marbles"? I got closer and looked inside. Well that was good, I'd hate to deal with a dragon that had lost his marbles.

"Ianto!" I called again "Are you in here?" Then my eyes saw his suit hanging on a rack. Why would he take off his clothes in a dragon's lair? "Ianto!"

The floor shook and I heard loud thuds coming towards me. Sounds like the dragon's come home. I saw a large barrel and dove inside it—it was half filled with wine. That was fortunate, it meant the wine wasn't displaced so much it spilled out onto the floor.

Unfortunately, the barrel didn't have a peephole I could look out of. I heard jingling of coins and then a deep voice say "Fe fi fo fum, I smell the blood of a…well, you're not an Englishman." The voice resonated within me and honestly it seemed more like I was feeling what he was saying than actually hearing it.

Suddenly I was lifted out of the barrel, the dragon held my braces with his talons and he brought me up to his eye level.

"I ought to eat you," he spoke to me. Though his scales were the colour of rubies and garnets, his eyes, for some reason, were like sapphires.

"Who are you?" I demanded and I would have sounded it if my voice wasn't shaking "What have you done with Ianto?"

The dragon sighed, his breath was warm and smelled like sheep. So, was he the one responsible for those missing sheep in the countryside? Farmers had been starting to blame aliens. "I am the Dragon of Cymru," he said.

"What does that mean?"

He set me down gently "I'll explain in a bit. It's sort of complicated."

"I'll ask again, what have you done with Ianto?"

The dragon laid down on his belly and rested his head on his front feet "Why did you follow him, Captain?"

"How do you know I'm a captain? I'm not wearing my stripes."

"And I'm grateful for that. The dry cleaning bill on that coat is getting ridiculous."

I blinked, "Wait, what?"

"Answer my question or I might decide I'm still hungry."

I thought of going for my gun but knew it needed to be cleaned before I should attempt to fire it. "I just wanted to know why he needs only one day off a month and where he goes."

"Why not ask him? You ought to know by now that Ianto Jones does not volunteer information."

"I know but he should if he wants to keep working for me."

"Perhaps there are things he just couldn't tell you, even if he wanted to."

"What is that supposed to mean? Where is he?"

The dragon sighed again "Oh very well but you cannot tell anyone of this or I will have to eat you. I am Ianto."

I stared at him dumbly for a minute or two "Say what? I don't understand. How can you be Ianto?"

"You've heard stories of dragons who can change into human form, yes?"

"Yeah," I thought about it "there was one where she needed once a week."

"Well that was a female, wasn't it? No, once a month is fine for me as long as I stay like this a full twenty four hours." He did kind of sound like Ianto, now that I thought about it but still…

"If you are Ianto why didn't you tell me? And," I added as an afterthought "if Ianto's a dragon why didn't you stop those fairy things?" I had a feeling Gwen would ask that.

"I couldn't tell you, there are rules to follow. But as you followed me…" he flicked his tail dismissively "as for the other; there was no point in it. They wouldn't have stopped till they got what they wanted and really they're not in my jurisdiction. I'm sorry you lost your lady friend."

I took a breath "Tell me something only Ianto would know. Something he wouldn't tell anyone."

If the dragon had an eyebrow, I'm sure he would have been arching it "Not even a dragon? Very well. You have a birthmark at the very top of your inner left thigh shaped like a hot air balloon and I only know that because I walked in on you doing nude yoga."

Well crap, he really was Ianto. "Okay, so why go around as a human? Why not tell people dragons are real? And what does Dragon of Cymru mean?"

"I am the chief of Welsh dragons and the only one who can live permanently in the human world. Why go around as a human? I was bored. And before you ask, I cannot use my powers in front of people, at least not while in human form."

"Why not?"

"Too many questions. Anything unusual would be hunted down in a mad frenzy. You humans are like that."

"I find that a little offensive so please don't include me when you say stuff like that. I'm not like that."

Ianto blinked "I'm sorry. You're right."

"So, you couldn't use your dragony-ness to save Lisa?" it was a touchy question I knew but…

"No, I couldn't and not just because I couldn't use magic in front of people. When a dragon is in human form, in this day in age, he has to do things the human way. It's only fair."

"Does anyone see you when you go out flying?"

I think he was smiling "No, not unless they truly believe in dragons and WANT to see me. Believing is seeing, after all. Or unless I want them to see me."

"Did you know I was following you?"

Okay, now I was pretty sure he was grinning "Maybe, maybe not. Speaking of flying, would you like a ride?"

A ride on a dragon? "Hell yeah," I said.

He stood up, snapped his talons and my clothes were suddenly free of wine and I was wearing my coat "You'll need that," He said "it gets chilly up there. Climb up on my back, settle at the base of my neck, just above where my wings connect."

…

The view of Wales from the back of a dragon was unbelievable. Even at night.

"This is amazing!" I shouted, laughter bubbling in my voice.

I figured the pleasant rumbling coming from Ianto meant he was chuckling himself "How would you like to do some loop de loops?"

I tightened my grip "Yes please."

By the time we landed back at Ianto's cave, I was in love. I'm pretty sure that's what this feeling was. I was certainly in euphoria anyway.

"That was so much fun," I said as I slid off Ianto's back "Thank you."

"Anytime. Why are you looking at me like that?"

I was giving him my best lusty leer "I was just wondering what it was like to have sex with a dragon."

He blinked "The word modest isn't in your vocabulary is it?"

"Nope" I grinned.

…

* * *

_I think that was a good place to end it for a one shot. So, like I said I could turn this into a chapter fic…once I figure out how. I'd have to think of more of a plot. We'll see…if ya'll like the idea anyway, I'll put it into consideration._

_Ddraig__goch__ is Welsh for red dragon by the way._


End file.
